Aging Gracefully
Ten of the Trickiest Places to Pronounce in the U.S.
The United States of America. They don’t feel very united right now. We can’t agree on much, and from a corruption standpoint, we’re headed toward a Banana Republic, and not the good kind with cashmere sweaters.
But one thing on which we could potentially agree, is that as a nation we have some pretty messed up names of cities and towns (I’m talking to you Bala Cynwd). There are reasons for this. Many of these names are influenced by our history in the U.S., either of stealing land from Native Americans yet keeping the names (in their honor?) or names established by our settlers, the Spanish, French, Dutch and of course British.
Hawaii has its own language and it can’t be pronounced unless you’ve had a Mai Tai. (My favorite umbrella drink there is a Lava Flow - it’s a Piña Colada with strawberry with an extra shot of dark rum on top).
To help you sort through these oddly-named cities, I’ve created this list, with the names and correct phonetic pronunciations. Feel free to add others in the comments.
East Coast
Bala Cynwyd, PA - Bal-a-kin-wood. A town near Philly known for very little except it’s weird pronunciation. Though, one distinction it has is Kobe Bryant went to middle school here for one year.
Quogue, NY - Kwaag. A weird, but beautiful place in the Hamptons on Long Island with Native American heritage. And it bothers me to say “on” Long Island versus “in” Long Island, but that’s what they say here/there.
Patchogue, NY - Pa-chaag. Another place on Long Island that we took from the Native Americans. I think they invented the Long Island Iced Tea here. Don’t quote me on that.
Gloucester, MA - Glou-ster. How can you not want to call this place Glou-chester? Throw in the Boston accent and it’s impossible to know what town people are talking about.
Midwest
Sault Ste. Marie, MI - Soo-Saint-Marie. This has to top any list. Even Professor Henry Higgins would have trouble with this. They do have a beer here called Sault Ste. Marie American Ale. Might be hard to say after one or two.
Sheboygan, WI - Sh-boy-gn. Not that hard to pronounce, I just like saying the word and eating its brats. Sheboygan Dog.
Bois D’arc, MO - Bo-dark. I wouldn’t have guessed this in a thousand years. It’s named after the Osage-orange tree.
West
San Luis Obispo, CA - San-loo-is Eh-bis-poh. I don’t live far from here and visited several times, but still can’t pronounce it. Nor can I spell it properly. There’s a reason that most Californians just call this place SLO (Slo).
La Jolla, CA. Le-hoy-a. Considered the jewel of San Diego, this community pronunciation is a stumper. It comes from the Spanish influence on California. The famous golf course Torrey Pines is located here.
Sebastopol, CA - Suh-bas-tuh-pol. Beautiful place near wine country in Sonoma, know as the “Gravenstein Apple Capital of the World.” Really.
Bonus:
Hawaii
Aiea, HI - Ay-a-uh. Seriously? With Hawaiian places, the spelling and pronunciation is pretty random. I’ve been told one trick pronounce each vowel as its own syllable. But it doesn’t even work in this case.
I hope you’ve learned something from this list. I have. In addition to having places with bizarre names, what can keep us united is we’re relative newcomers to the world scene, and given our heritage of being quilted together by just about every other country, we should make every person feel welcome.