Aging Gracefully
Your Comfort Zone: What's Wrong With It?
A comfort zone must be a terrible place because seemingly at every turn in life, after age 30, people say to you, “Get out of your comfort zone.”
Is it a good thing to get out of the space where you are comfortable? That’s odd. And it’s such a universally recognized place to leave that as soon as you say, “I’m stepping out of my comfort zone,” people applaud you like you just won the Nobel Prize. And in this case you deserve it.
Here’s how it typically goes down:
You: “I really got out of my comfort zone today with my new live organ donor hobby. I’m getting my liver removed at 4 p.m. Though I was much more comfortable when I was lying on the couch and not going to hospitals.”
Friend/Family Member/Spouse: I’m so glad you are getting out of your comfort zone. Good for you.”
Another:
You: “I really stepped out of my comfort zone today when I screamed (in my Primal Scream Therapy session) for an hour straight. And then I had a nervous breakdown.”
Friend/Family Member/Spouse: “That’s terrific. I’m so happy for your. Keep pushing yourself!”
When did the comfort zone become so damn pejorative? Why is it good to get out of it if “it” makes you comfortable? I had to explore this further. I went to my life coach, ClaudeGPT.
Where did the term comfort zone come from and is it a dark place, like Gotham City before Batman got there?
AI’s first answer confused me, because it made the comfort zone sound like an okay place. A place not worthy of celebrating leaving.
A comfort zone is a mental and emotional state where anxiety is low, uncertainty is minimal, and outcomes are predictable. It’s not necessarily good or bad — it’s just stable.
But then it went further, as it always does.
Comfort zone = familiar + low anxiety + low risk + low growth.
Okay, so now my life is being evaluated like mid-to-large-cap stocks?
It seems the comfort zone may have been victim of some bad PR over the years, going from evoking, “The place you’re comfortable” to “Don’t get too comfortable there, son.”
According to my lengthy academic research, the shift from good place to bad zone started in the ‘90s. Apparently, the self-help movement of the ‘90s flipped it negative. Books, coaching, and management culture reframed “comfort zone” as a trap. And the Gen X “doers” were willing participants. It was everything from the Tony Robbins/Magnolia era and goal-setting workshops to the rise of coaching and, finally, motivational posters with cliffs and eagles. I always preferred the cat in the “Hang in there baby!” poster.
Thank you Gemini man for aiding in my history lesson.
Our society is always pressuring us to do more… to get ahead. It’s the American Dream: Make more money, get a promotion, start your own business, have another kid, buy a bigger house, buy Greenland.
Well, I don’t want to be constantly worrying about doing more. I like comfort. And I like being in the zone. I like running downhill, not uphill.
It doesn’t mean I’m stuck. I’ll try new things and push myself when I’m uncomfortable.